Confession: I’m a sucker for silver linings. In the current scenario, I first thought: Yay! Work from home, means I can finally focus more time on creating content, catching up with documentation, write for work, write for me, do some journaling, colouring, clean my cupboard and so on. The next minute, I realized that while I was excited about getting this time to pause and reflect, I had taken it away by filling it with tasks – with high expectations of making this time productive.
As someone who primarily works remotely, this is a fear that I’ve been managing for a while – how do I justify me-time when I work with emotions, thoughts and behaviours? Where’s the line that this processing is for personal work vs. professional growth? Like most of us, I tend to look at all my actions from a capitalist lens – is this self-work going to pay off at work? How can I be a better employee and contribute to my organization?
Now, with a lot of us sharing the privilege of working from home, we are going to be tempted to turn all our time productive. We might see our down-time as slacking off. My silver lining is this: Collectively, we are going to lean on each other in ways that we haven’t had to. Amidst all the fear and frustration, I’m hoping to pause, step back and reflect on what I want and how I feel. I’m allowing myself to feel all my feelings and release them, because amidst this collective loss of control, I feel a spark of hope – to be, instead of become or do. So yes, I intend to feel more and write it down – and maybe some of it will be useful to publish later. But I hope that we’ll do lots of things that mean almost nothing at all in the long run, and feel good about the moments we spend “just being”.